Lähetetty Saksa foorumi
I'm hearing lots of terrible stories about German men and their lack of romance. Is this true? Anybody got any "real-life experience"? :-)
German Feelings
lähettäjä Evangeline Clores in Saksa foorumi
I met this German guy in the Philippines last 2009, we had some chemistry and got the chance to know eachother while he stays in our country, I even met the parents. I really loved him and I dont know why, maybe because of his honesty about that he likes me but doesnt loves me. From which I knew was true coz we just met. For two years we are chatting but not that regularly, and he is not into calling texting and sending emails. After 4 years, just last month, I decided to visit him in Germmay, coz he is not sending emails as I thought he was dead already or sick. But to my surprise, he was really very healthy and in good shape. His parents were shocked as well as I have to travel to germmany just to know how is he. He told me that he lost all his contacts in and not open his yahoo anymore.
To cut the short stroy, he asked me to stay for another 2 days to show me around Germany. He was so very caring and I feel very important with the way the parents showed me and him as well. He told me that he will never get married and will stay single until gets old because of his fiancnial status. It hurts because after all of the wonderful memories we had for a short time was then just about to be friends. I am starting to move forward with my life. Do I need to keep the friendship or wait for that day until he is ready with his life and fianancial standing. Guys, please advise. I dont want to let him go. I plan to carry on whith all the importan things that matters,
Latinamerican women
lähettäjä Ulises Kahlo in Saksa foorumi
Of course there are differences between men and women in general and there are differences between cultures, but I guess here in this thread it also would be important to note who is writing.
The internet is full of latinamerican women looking for men in other countries. In my opinion women from Latinamerica, who got to live in the "first world", young, beautiful and with a job, don't look in the internet for men. And I don't believe in miracles.
Here there was a woman from Peru once, she had polycystic ovary syndrome and hoped to find an older man/husband in Germany because she hoped, to German men it wouldn't be important to have children (in contrast to Peru). And being 30 she would end up being an old maid.
You see, some thoughts sometimes need getting used to.
Or the Mexcian woman, who thought if she got pregnant her German boyfriend would propose to her.
hah
lähettäjä Andreea Maria in Saksa foorumi
I don't know how other women are, that's not me. I didn't plan to get pregnant, actually uk doctors said it's a miracle, since I was on contraceptive pill and I have polycystic ovary sindrome. And to keep this baby was my decision after all, I don't want anything from him, he is free from any kind of responsability.
I live in England, I am not gonna go to Germany to claim benefits. I work here, so I have rights here.
But in the end that was not the point.Foreign women in Germany
lähettäjä Ulises Kahlo in Saksa foorumi
There is a saying: Beware of women, who overpraise you! They might have something in mind! (above all women from Africa or Latin America) ;-)
Recently, much attention has been given to a story of a Romanian woman, who came to Germany, worked illicitly, got pregnant soon and sued the German government for social benefits, because she has been in a state of emergency.
So don't worry Andreea, you don't have to start from zero. Pregnancy in Germany is an excellent life policy.
However, is this how women are?
This whole thread is a fake: Blizzy Everhard was a stuff member and she just wanted to make people talk with a lurid topic.
:))
lähettäjä Andreea Maria in Saksa foorumi
Well girls, I guess finally found out what kind of man is he. I didnt had time to write here, lots of things happened. I got pregnant... At the begging he was ok about it, we were looking for a house to move in together...he was absolutely amazing with me, and I like a stupid hoped, dreamed about a family. He changed his mind quick so he left me. Not before asking me to have an abortion. So since June I don't know anything about him...I guess already he has somebody else. And me having to start all from 0, alone and pregnant! That was my German manm
German Men
lähettäjä Gladys Shanna in Saksa foorumi
According to my experience, i totally disagree.
Maybe people who are saying that just find luck in them.
Juliet and Andreea
lähettäjä Heather Noble in Saksa foorumi
I KNOW you can't change them. My Dad is German and that is that. I saw him fight with my American mother for years and years. You know, I guess after dating other men, you have to decide what is important. For me, I'd rather have a man who shows me. Words are cheap. And I find, as far as affection, he's growing accustomed to my more warm ways...I've asked him plainly to cuddle me and kiss me more. When he leaves the house, he now kisses me goodbye...he didn't used to. Now I think he looks forward to it. I honestly don't think most German women aren't THAT affectionate, some are, sure, but I rarely see it even in my own family. Like I said, I'd rather have a man who shows it in his daily life....I don't need to hear I love you...but I need to feel important. I think it helps if the man is older. They say, in general, men settle down when they get tired of dating and the singles scene. I think tha't strue, in which case, Andreea, your man might be on the cusp there. I generally find that although they are not lavish with their praise, i don't believe H. has ever called me pretty....he sure steps it up when it comes to demonstrating things. I have to agree with Juliet...I think maybe a little less availability may work in your favor. Even as serious as they are, young German men will probably try to get away with things they know they shouldn't. If he gets the feeling you aren't waiting around for him to make an appearance for you to go out, have fun, go out with friends, take yourself to dinner and meet with friends or a movie afterward, he may think, hmmmmmm, I wonder if I'm that valuable to her? I do think clingy women turn this breed of man off, so, if you feel even a little bit taken for granted, don't whine about it, change it. Start going out with people who LOVE that you make time for them, even if it's just your girlfriends. If he asks you what's changed, be honest...you're waiting for the proposal, right? Tell him you get the feeling that you're waiting around for him to make you a priority in his life, don't be accusatory, just shrug and say I don't like the way it feels so I decided to change some things and I feel so much better now. It might just snap him to action. I hate to say it, but I read somewhere recently that 78 percent of all women coming out of the marriage bureau have prompted their man to give the proposal. You don't have to blackmail, but I do think he needs to feel you aren't waiting around and won't be taken for granted. Mostly men will seal the deal if they want to keep you around (and if they're grown up). Hon, if he's not, think of all the fun you can have without worrying about this sh*t. Good luck...check back in. You know, there might be a couple of resources you can check out: Michael Fiore's Cracking the Man Code MP3 (free) and Steve Harvey's Act LIke a Woman, Think LIke a Man. I truly believe these are both good books and give you insight into the male psyche. We'd like to think they are so complicated but in fact, they aren't. They just think differently and they have a much smaller emotional range. Fiore's books give awesome pointers for communicating with your guy...even a German. Give it a try and let me know what you think of those resources. IF you need copies or other resources to help you 'get it' without worrying incessantly, you can write [...]. Be happy to send you what I know about. Best, Heather
Juliet
lähettäjä Andreea Maria in Saksa foorumi
I understand you perfectly,wish I could be the woman able to change him.,..
Heather
lähettäjä Andreea Maria in Saksa foorumi
Darling thank you so much for your answer! We are both young, in September he turns 29 and I turn 25.
I know he dosent want to marry or have children for now...and I expect him to leave one day without looking back, but it is really hard to give up on him.
he can be very caring when we are together, and the most close to a declaration he told me that he can't say he dosent love me....Andreea Marie
lähettäjä Heather Noble in Saksa foorumi
Hey, I thought I'd write because you are the most recent post on here. I guess you two are young. Germans are late to marry and settle down. I think you're guy isn't that into you. Not because you aren't wonderful; because he's young. I wonder how old you two are. I think most German men get to a point, like women do much earlier, where they are tired of singles scene and bars. That's when they start really really being interested in a long term relationship. If you want his respect hon, you have to be strong, and state what you want, and tell him what you find confusing with his behavior. And if he doesn't respond in a way that makes you happy, you need to tell him exactly that and tell him you are looking for 'more.' I have found more than one German man is clueless about the inner emotional life of women. Because they don't experience emotion the way we do, they don't understand our needs and wants. So be clear and spell it out. If he cares, he will totally make the effort. If he doesn't, don't waste your time. For example, what direction did he want? Why is he cold? What does he expect you to do when he is withholding sex or emotion? No, he is not going to say the things you would expect; he doesn't even t think them. But you need to ask him,, preferably during an activity together, or after sex, what he sees for you guys down the road. that is the best indicator. You cannot expect him to be a woman or to be touchy feely. German men are barely in touch with their own emotions, but that doesn't mean they can't love deeply. The ones I have known have been absolutely devastated when their women leave them, maybe they don't say it, but they don't function well, and functioning is everything. I think communication about this, especially when there is a cultural barrier, is particularly important, and to be honest, German men appreciate some pointers, if they really want a girlfriend, partner or wife. Good luck, please report back in.